An acrimonious weekend

The season is over and, as is now traditional, it's about time I updated my blog after rather a long break. So, we need to talk about Saturday, because it was a classic of its type.

I was rather non-plussed at having not bowled the previous week at Onneley & Maer, so further to that I was, shall we say, just a tad peeved to receive the following text on Tuesday:

“Hi m8 sorry 2 say haven't picked u this Saturday, we needed a keeper as Harper couldn't play so had 2 swap u, hope u can still cum down n support us with it bein last game”

So if Matt Prior broke a finger and had to miss a game, Swanny would also have to miss out? Hmm, I don't quite see how that immediately follows. Dropping me from the last game of the year is annoying enough without feeding me what is patently a cock-and-bull story of an explanation. I don't know what the real reason was, and I don't really care. There's a basic lack of candour about that message that I can't help but find pretty insulting.

Guess what turned up in my phone a few hours later?

“Sorry lads just 2 let u no this Saturday game has been CANCELLED, Oakamoor can't get a team, please still cum down to the club 4 sum drinks 2 celebrate a gd season”

Played 18, won 2, drawn 1, lost 15. Presumably “gd” does not, as you would initially assume, represent a somewhat superfluous shortening of “good”, but instead stands for “gigantically disappointing” or some similar combination. It must do, after all, if that's good, what would be bad? Anyway, a couple of days later he's asking if I'm available as a friendly match had been arranged with a team called Enville and someone had dropped out since Tuesday. 

Washed out. Twice.

Well it's fair to say this weekend was a bit of a waste of time. In essence, I drove a very long way to and from two opposite far-flung corners of Staffordshire to spend two afternoons watching wet grass stay wet.

Moddershall first. Our motley bunch slowly assembled at the pavilion under unpromising skies, apart from Pete who was going straight there, and Andy who was late due to some minor domestic crisis. The first two cars set off while I awaited Andy, and we got to the ground at about half one, while Dan and Sam, who had got a bit lost, arrived about 15 minutes later. Never having been to Moddershall CC before I found it a lovely ground, two grass squares, a good clubhouse, a small pavilion for the second square and most important, a very nice cup of tea. The drizzle through which we'd driven on the way wasn't in evidence at the ground itself, but while the outfield seemed fine there were parts of the square and run-ups that had had just a little too much overnight rain to render them playable at the appointed hour. A half-hour delay was decided upon, so we waited.

Taking the helm

Chigsy's ill so tomorrow I'll be skippering the 4ths. It'll be the 4th match I've captained, assuming the weather isn't as advertised, and so far I have the rather unfortunate record of played three, lost three. To be fair, one was a tour game, and in another I only had 8 players to play with and we did surprisingly well. It's 1:30am as once again I can't sleep. I'm not sure I'm cut out for this captaincy lark as every time I do it I find myself endlessly agonising over what decisions I'm going to make.

My biggest headache tonight is batsmen as, to be perfectly frank, we haven't really got any. I don't know where they've all gone, but we've been batting-light all season and tomorrow I'm in charge of 11 players none of whom have ever scored a 50. I do have a couple who can hit a ball, but that's not batting. They're like a prizefighter who packs a mighty punch but who simply can't box. If I open with them, I risk us getting off on entirely the wrong foot, and if I don't open with them, then with who? One thing I have decided is that I won't be batting at 11 this time, as it gives me no chance to meaningfully influence the innings.

Overs remaining

Our first home fixture of the season on Saturday saw an all too familiar tale. The formula so far this season has been to win the toss, bat first, lose nine wickets before the drinks break, creep just beyond 100 and then wonder why the team batting second aren't chasing the game too much. Only three of our partnerships made it to 20, and none got to 30. To be honest I'm pretty fed up with our batsmen giving their wickets away so cheaply. Maybe they've been watching too much IPL and are labouring under the impression that all innings only last 20 overs nowadays.

As for my own cameo, I came in with 25.3 overs left and the score on 89 for 9. "We must stop meeting like this" I said to Jamie, as for the third time in three matches we prepared to see to what extent the last wicket stand could rectify matters. Jamie was keen to stay on strike and I was happy enough to let him, so I saw out my first three balls without any real trouble. Jamie was batting pretty well and hit a few boundaries, I meanwhile was taking wild swipes at anything pitched safely outside off (and missing) and solidly defending the few balls that threatened the stumps.

A chat with another of Bosanquet's disciples*

Bernard Bosanquet

After the match on Saturday I sought out Greg, a 1st team leg-spinning all-rounder who's new to the club this year. I'd seen him around a fair bit as he's also coaching the juniors, but I thought it was about time we introduced ourselves properly. I'd faced him in the nets on Thursday and was very impressed - he perhaps wasn't bowling at his most accurate but he bowls at a good 50+ mph and turns the ball plenty enough for that speed. Added to that I'm not sure I've yet seen him without an engaging smile on his face.

So I bought him a pint and said hello. He'd obviously noticed me as the 'other leggie' at the club, and had some nice things to say about my bowling. Neither of us had had a great day with the ball, so after some mutual comiseration we soon got onto technical aspects, talking about coaching in general, his difficulty bowling zooters and me probing him about exactly what a wrong 'un feels like to bowl. It's the first time I've spoken to someone who can actually bowl one, so it was great to be able to get a first-hand account. I hope we have plenty more of these chats over the course of the season.

On Sunday the 1sts had a cup game, which I didn't watch, but now wish I had - looking at the scorecard Greg took 5 for 25 and made 41* with the bat! Remarkably he's only 18, so who knows what level he may one day reach if he continues to make progress.

*the term "Bosanquet's disciples" is to be found in Arthur Mailey's excellent autobiography "10 for 66 and all that". If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it!

More bowling

Well it seems videos of my bowling are like buses...



Now I should explain this was filmed shortly before junior nets was supposed to start up, so there were a handful of the U17s essentially doing all they could to put me off, up to and including riding a bicycle around behind the net, leading to a few of my dodgier deliveries.

Excuses aside, this wasn't really my best bowling session, although there was the odd ripper and one zooter that swung (rather than drifted) quite a distance in towards the stumps.

Hard lines

To Aston where, for the seventh competitive match in a row, I ended up on the losing side. Aston is a curious little club, rather new and as a result rather unpopular with neighbouring clubs such as ours whose players they have recently pilfered. They're a good side with an even mixture of experience and youth and always a tough fixture. The weather forecast was decidedly unpromising, but when we got to the ground the sun was out and the wicket pretty firm.

We lost the toss and were inserted, and were a wicket down off the second ball. Dan and Sam batted reasonably and Azar was astonishingly good, making a stylish 39. However, four ducks later - including three wickets in a single over - it ultimately came down once again to Jamie and myself at the crease having only just crept past three figures. Jamie wanted the strike and I was only too happy to give it to him. I had to see of the final deliveries of a couple of overs, which I did with relative ease, before Jamie was bowled for 15, leaving me stranded on 0*. We'd made only 112 and, criminally, had a full 14 overs of the innings left unused. Again...

Practise, practise, practise...

I've bowled rather a lot this week, as my weary frame would attest. It's funny how over the winter you can forget all the little niggles that bowling creates, then have it all come flooding back in the space of a week when you start doing proper work on it. My two "go-to" issues are a soreness in my left knee and an inflamed tendon at the front of my right shoulder. They've been pretty constant companions over my last three seasons playing cricket, and I imagine I'll have them for as long as I continue bowling. Oh well, neither is likely to be fatal.

Anyway, I have got quite a few bagfuls under my belt this week, a couple of hours each on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and while I don't exactly expect to rock up on Saturday and take all ten, every little helps. So much for my "new bowling style" though, I recorded myself on Friday and looking at it after the style's the same, just a bit more refined. The run-up's straighter, the whole action is smoother and I am now bowling a little quicker. The key elements I'm still struggling with are front arm, position I bowl from and concentration.